The Exploits of a TurboGeek!

6/26/2005

Close Call

Filed under: General — TG @ 6:47 pm

Well, that was a close one. I was about to sit down and start playing video games, in an attempt to completely waste my evening… Instead of being productive. You might notice that I haven’t written in over a week, but it is with good reason!

Last week, some of my closest friends came to visit, and we had a wonderful time. We drove to France, Belgium, Holland and Luxembourg, got lost several times, and generally enjoyed every minute of it. I’m not going to write about that right now, since I don’t think I’m properly inspired to do it justice, instead, here is a fluff piece…

As I said, I just had a close call. As the typical hall mark of a good vacation, I’m exhausted. I was lounging on the couch watching S1mpson’s DVD’s, and I was too bored, so I moved to my laptop for some gaming. In reality, I should be running or swimming (or both) but instead, I was booting up… Then I remembered I had laundry in the dryer, and that I should get it out so I can do a load of sheets for the air mattresses…

Did you ever watch Fr4ggle Rock when you were little? I did. I don’t remember all the Fr4ggle names, but I’m hoping that we can put them all together in the comment section. What I do recall was the chronically depressed Fr4ggle (I think) or W1mbly had a lint collection. I was reminded of that when I took the laundry out because the dryer load consisted mainly of my new towels, purchased for my guest’s drying pleasure. When I cleaned the lint trap the first time I washed them (the towels, not my guests) there was a thick blanket of lint, the size of the trap. It was good, white fluffy lint, all stuck together.

It made me want to play with it, until it started to break and throw lint in the air, at which point I put it down so I could show it to people later. This time, the same thing! How can so much lint come off my towels, without them becoming less soft and absorbent? Furthermore, why does my lint seem to be gray, when my clothes are not gray? Are my clothes not gray because all the gray bits come off in the dryer? I think not.

Anyway, I have two big lint blankets, and no idea what use to put them too. I think may be I will test to see if lint is flammable. I bet it is. Also, I checked to see if hand sanitizer is flammable at work yesterday. The gel stuff isn’t. I hear the foam is, and I largely agree, but I haven’t tested yet. I also think that a liberal application of either sanitizer to one’s hands could be flammable, but that is too foolish a test for me to try… At work.

I warned you it was a fluff piece…

6/11/2005

I Am a Temporal Bigot

Filed under: General — TG @ 3:17 am

I’ve been mistreating some of you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but I was archiving my email, and suddenly it all became clearer…

You see, I save all my emails. Every one I can possibly archive in a fashion that isn’t terribly difficult or complex, that is. That being said, I have every email I ever got while going to school during my undergrad. I also have every email ever sent or received while in graduate school. I have every email ever sent or received from every computer I’ve owned starting with the first one I purchased in 1999, off E-Bay. I have every email sent from my various domains, and all the dummy accounts I made on Y! and MSN. Well, at least for the accounts I haven’t forgotten the password to. This excludes spam, useless advertisements and hoax type forwards…

Anyway, that isn’t what this is about. You see, I have some 100+ email folders, one for each and every one of you. However, some of you have just your first name for your folder. Others of you have nicknames, and others have a full name. It all comes down to when I started getting email from you. If your first name was… Sebastian, for instance, you get to be the first Sebastian. All subsequent Sebastians must have either nicknames or full names.

This gives some of you rather elite status. You’re on a first name basis with my email archive. I’ve tried to amend my ways and start giving everyone full names, but it is too late, I think. I’m not going to go and fix all the old ones. That would take like 8 minutes. Instead, every time I check my email, I will have a reminder to my short-sighted thoughtless ways.

To you, I offer my humblest apologies. Unless you happen to on a first name basis with my email archive… Then we’re going out for pizza and wings!!!

P.S. I think this is what many blog-detractors
call “navel gazing”. I apologize since you can’t
get the 3 minutes you wasted reading this post
back. However, you can use it on a deposit
for time spent eating pizza and wings if you
like…

6/5/2005

I Am Nothing Without Form

Filed under: General — TG @ 5:16 pm

Well Howdy,

I’m noticing a nice coincidence in my life this week. I don’t know if it is a coincidence, actually. Lots of times people call events a coincidence (or ironic) when really they aren’t. This isn’t a coincidence at all, actually. It is a linkage, in fact. I’m noticing that there are two things in my life that are linked together… Exercise and writing here.

Last week I made mention of the voices in my head, and also of the statement “You are nothing without form.” Here is where I tie those things together.

When I was younger, I was on the football team, and in order to stay in shape, our coach was in the habit of yelling at us, and making us do things we otherwise might not due, such as run for a very long time. At the time, I hated my coach, but as I grew farther from that period in my life the more I came to respect him, and be thankful for his influence. I wouldn’t have tried to run that fast, or that often without the cajoling, and I’m sure it took some discipline on his part to keep pushing us to work harder and harder.

Now, when I run, I am sometimes tempted to half-ass it. Jog a bit, failing to really stress my system at all. When this happens, my coaching voice chimes in. The coaching voice is really the helpful voice in a disguise. It doesn’t say much, but this is what it does say… “You are nothing without form.” Then I say “I’m nothing without form.” Sometimes I just mumble it so it seems like I’m working harder than I really am, but my coaching voice always knows. It just repeats it’s part until I start doing my part right…

My part is this: Focus on what I’m doing, and do it right. As I run, I get tired, bored and distracted. My smooth gait and/or carriage becomes a haphazard jumble of knees and elbows. My shoulders don’t roll with my arms, my feet don’t spring off the earth. I become a sloppy mobile billboard advertising the peril of energy non-conservation. “You are nothing without form.” I hear, and slowly I focus inward, and my frame stiffens. My shoulders relax and lower, my arms stiffen and begin pumping in sync with my stride and my breathing becomes both more regular and deeper. My bio-mechanical cacophony becomes an even paced symphony, and I realize that I enjoy running, and that I enjoy knowing that I’m getting in shape.

At which point I pretend to inhale a bug, stumble and fall down. My coaching voice shakes its imaginary head sadly, and I just lay there hacking and panting…

Not really.

What I realised this weekend is, that little chant I say to myself actually applies to my life. I don’t have very much to do. So, I go home and start goofing off, almost immediately. I can burn 6 hours in video games easy, and without any hard deadline to make me stop, I will. However, as I impose form upon my life, I start to improve my productivity. Coming home from work leads to going for a run (or a swim, which is harder because there are less bugs to pretend to inhale. Then I need to pretend to be grossed out by a long piece of hair that got stuck in my stubble, but I digress). Coming home from exercise leads to a much needed shower, which then leads to dinner.

As my day goes by, I don’t have a huge window to blow on playing a game, or taking a nap (I never take naps after 9pm, because that is when babies go to sleep. I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy. I stay up until 2am!!! Even when I have work at 4am :/) So, instead of those things, I use my new smaller slot of time to write, because I actually only have that much time…

I guess it just goes to show, that having more to do, yields more getting done. Sort of like packing. It is easier to store stuff in a lot of smaller boxes, than it is to just pile everything into the back of a truck. The boxes impose a structure on how you’ll pack, and that makes it easier to move everything, and store it in a truck…

I’m just full of metaphors today. It is like I have something important to say, but can only do so indirectly… That previous sentence isn’t a metaphor, but looks like a simile. It isn’t one of those either.

These entries tend to fall apart at the end sometimes.

6/2/2005

(Not)Getting Run Over

Filed under: General — TG @ 8:12 pm

I almost got hit by a car today. For those of you who have ever seen me cross the street, this should come as no surprise to you. Additionally, I have often pledged that it is in the pedestrian’s better interest to avoid the car, more than that of the car to avoid the meat-popsicle. Under that pledge, I have vowed that I will not be overly bitter should I someday be run over while crossing the street, as it will almost certainly be my fault. Today, however, I was not crossing the street, I was on the walking path, and cars should not have been hitting me there.

I’ve almost been run over on many occasions, in fact. It doesn’t phase me. It should, and the last time it happened, it did affect me, though not in the way that you might think. Today, was just a curiosity for me. I was walking along the designated walking path, which was on the same piece of asphalt as the road. An SUV was approaching me, and as I was walking against traffic I had the opportunity to make eye contact with the driver. I did not, however, as she was looking at her passenger. I don’t know where the passenger was looking since I was looking at the driver, in much the same way the driver didn’t know where she was going, since she was looking at the passenger.

Where she was going, was right for me. Well, near me in fact, which is the odd part. I didn’t even stop walking. I just kept going, watching this Ford Explorer come right at me, at about 40km/h (she was doing the speed limit, or close). Instead of stopping, or moving, or yelling or flailing, I just kept walking and watching. Had the driver been over about another 1.5 feet, I would have been hit squarely by the bumper. At the time that would have happened, the driver noticed me in her periphery, and simultaneously swerved and nailed the brakes. The side view mirror passed about 6 inches from my shoulder as I watched the driver panic.

It was kind of strange, since I was the one that nearly got killed, but she was the one who got perturbed by it. It gave me cause to look at the inner workings of my little walnut-sized brain. Why didn’t I move? Why did this not even bother me? It could very well be, that after years of driving and walking and seeing things collide or not collide, that I was reasonably confident that she’d miss me. It could be that I was so overcome by the shock of a possible collision that my brain siezed up and I wasn’t able to react normally. It could be that after 30 odd years of life and many near misses, this one just wasn’t that impressive.

Was I ever seriously perturbed by almost getting hit by a car? Not really. Just once, the last time, in fact… Maybe I am exhibiting the psychological process of the Death Wish, first described by Freud (or maybe Jung or someone. John, give me a hand here.) If I recall correctly, the hypothesis was that all humans, to some extent have a death wish that causes them to do things that provide no tangible gain, yet endanger them. The endangerment can be real or perceived, and accounts for such behaviors as roller coasters to russian roulette. The death wish stems from a deep basal desire to return to a state of mental quietude that is remembered from the formative days in the womb or some other such nonsense. I had a bad habit of cutting my “Modern Western Thought” class back in school, and while I could look up the theory now, I didn’t have it at my disposal while walking to lunch this afternoon.

What I do recall is not being terribly impressed by the theory at the time. Since I’d just had a real threat of death, and what I felt to be an interesting response, I decided to think about it on my own and see what I came up with. I do think that a death wish exists for most everyone, and that it manifests in a variety of ways. I think the reality of the situation has more to do with risk and reward than with any existential yearning. In life, the majority of our existence could be reduced to transactions. I trade money for lots of things, of course. I also trade trust for security. I trade honesty for sincerity. The transactions are often complex and may involve a number smaller possibly recipricol transactions to constitute a single action.

Inherent in any transaction is risk versus reward. In the transaction, I am seeking something, and the risk is what I’m willing to lose to attain that. In the case of a voluntary transaction, the risk is small, since the perception is that both parties will profit from the exchange. On a deeper level, we can’t necessarily count on the altruism of others. Even in a voluntary transaction, there is a risk inherent to the exchange. Think of it crudely this way. If I am going to buy a TV, it is easier to buy a smaller, less expensive TV than a larger more expensive TV. There is always a chance that the TV will fail to meet my needs/desires, or fail outright. The vendor might not give me a refund or a repair. The larger the investment, the more likely there will be fear associated with a failure of the exchange.

Well, how does this relate to a death wish? Quite simply, in my opinion. If we’re going to talk about deep subconscious psychological needs and perceptions, we have to strip away the effects of modern culture and society. It is fun and cute to describe our affection for roller coasters in terms of a subconscious urge, but perhaps not wholly fair. I think the Death Wish more likely spawns from the fact that in a simpler existence, mutual trades were far less prevalent. If I want to eat something, I need to take food from someone/something. I could find a stash of vegetables gathered by another person and take it. I could try to barter, but they have food which I want, and I likely have nothing to offer that is commeasurate to the food they have. They’ll naturally want to defend their food, so my expression of interest in the food would naturally appear threatening since in the absence of a fair trade, there is a strong likelihood of an attempt by force.

The rationale will extend naturally for my interest in a recent kill by my peer or another critter. Likewise, any animal I might want to eat will naturally be wary of me since that sort of exchange will turn out poorly for the critter. Ultimately, almost everything on the planet that I’m apt to eat, has features that exist specifically to prevent me from eating it. Claws, teeth, fur, pointy spines, poisons, beaks, thorns, thermal tracking lasers and so forth. So, in order to eat anything, I need to take a risk. Either I brave the pointy mean things that want to stop me from eating, or I risk the wrath of one who has already taken such a risk.

Which brings us to the basic premise in that all I really ever have to risk is my life. In modern society, I can risk my savings or my possessions, but really, those things are secondary, one keeps living and risking long after those other things are gone. I think another basic truth is that bigger rewards generally require bigger risks. That is not to say that bigger risks generate bigger rewards. However, willingness to take big risks will often lead to the taking of such risks. Taking bigger risks will offer bigger rewards, when the risking party is successful. So, I am inclined to think that manifestations of the Death Wish are actually the brain’s way of keeping our mind and body in shape so that we might earn the big rewards when they do present themselves.

When I was younger I used to have what I think is likely a common fantasy of dying heroically. At the time I chalked it up to recognition that I will one day die, and that if I can’t avoid death, I may as well be heroic about it. Inevitably, these death fantasies involved me saving some girl I was “in love” with, from some predictably stupid danger, and dying in the process. One would hope that I’d have envisioned saving her from death and only getting moderately messed up myself. However, that denies the virtue of my act. If I save her from something that just injures me, obviously I haven’t saved her from a big enough threat. Only a threat that kills me would sufficiently demonstrate my adoration. The fact that I don’t get to survive and enjoy the fruits of this labor are unfortunate, but we’re talking about true love here.

I think the arguments about seeking food extend quite easily to seeking love (or sex or reproduction if you want to go that route). Ultimately we have to risk ourselves to engage in those acts, and hopefully the risks we take will be rewarded by beautiful love, great sex or great kids. Ideally, all three.

A key point worth noting is that it may be possible to have all three of those while taking comparitively small risks. In reality, the greatness of a love isn’t built upon self sacrafice or heroic gestures. It is a much more complex beast, and while willingness to take extreme risks may be a hallmark of a strong love, strong loves can exist without them. Additionally, huge risks may be taken to preserve a small love. The risks don’t necessarily improve the love. By the same token, running naked through the savana, leaping, hooting and shouting while chasing down a humming bird doesn’t improve the meal you’ll get out of it. (Well, it might taste better that way, I’m not a chef so who am I to say?)

Which brings me back to that last near hit, and what was different. I was in Cyprus, and crossing the street with a girl I had become friends with there. She was ending her trip there, and we had gone out to dinner so that I might “see her off”. In truth, I had a devilish crush on her, but given the circumstance (which isn’t really essential to this story), I had not made any overtures.

So we were walking across the street, and as I was escorting home a person I cared about, I didn’t go running pell mell into the street as I normally would have. We crossed the street to the center island at the crosswalk, and waited for the green man to let us pass the rest of the way home. When he arrived, we stepped out onto the crosswalk, but like a good little New Yorker, I still looked both ways. This was when I saw the tiny compact car approaching us at about 100km/h.

She didn’t see the car, since she was turn to speak to me and the car was coming from her side. I stopped abruptly and grabbed at her arm, but she had momentum and took another step into the lane. For me, time almost stopped and while I know I reacted out of reflex or instinct, I remember very clearly contemplating each act, and calculating each move I took.

I quickly stepped forward and pivoted in front of her. I placed my arm around her waist and gently pushed her, bodily, back onto the curb. I couldn’t see the car anymore, but I knew that I was just about out of time, and I was still in the street. So, the last thing I did was move my arm from around her waist to just barely providing pressure on her hip to keep her on the curb, and stepped back slightly, so that if the car did hit me, that I wouldn’t inadvertantly drag her under it with me.

Truth be told, I was momentarily bitter as I was in the freaking crosswalk.

Then the car came to a shuddering halt about a foot from me.

She and I shared a slightly “Whoa” look, me more than her, and then I turned to look at the driver who was visibly shaken.

And that was it. We double checked traffic and crossed the street where I escorted her home and that was all. We didn’t talk about it, and I’ve only ever told one or two people what happened. It is kind of a non-story, on its own. We were nearly run over, and regardless of what I did, the car stopped short of us.

It was a weird experience, but a lot of what happened in Cyprus was new and interesting for me. Today’s entry isn’t about that, today I’m writing about now, so the trials and tribulations that happened while I was over there will have to wait.

That’s all for now. I hope you’re well, and I’ll try to write more again soon.

P.S. This took way more than an hour to write!!!

6/1/2005

Waxing Poetic

Filed under: General — TG @ 9:47 pm

Last night, I had a profound thought. When I thought that particular gem, I couldn’t help but wish I was at my computer so that I might share it with you. Sometimes, often in fact, I let my mind wander, and I find myself engaged in delightful vagaries that are often both amusing and enlightening. Last night was just such an occasion.

Of course, I wasn’t at my computer. I was at C’s place, as I had just picked her up from the train station since she had just returned from a short sojourn to Munich. Notice how I’m using flowery and uncommon language? I’m trying to jog my memory, since I can’t recall the great thought I had, which makes me sad.

Part of the wonder of the great thought, was the wondering what exactly inspired it. I think I was reflecting upon how my great thoughts seem to strike me when I’m far from home, and I was wondering why that was. I was also remembering one of the allures of travel, which also lead me to accept a job in Germany, was that travel forced me to stay on my feet. I can’t just idle here. Everywhere I go, I need to think translation… What does that mean? (Was bedeutet es?). I’m in a new town and I don’t know all the places I need to know. Where can I get my house key copied? Where is the local supermarket (I have been shopping on base). Who put these gerbils in my pocket?

Everywhere I go, I’m faced with questions that I must struggle to answer, and that struggle is exactly the mental exercise that I need to keep my brain in (non)working order. My job is a bit boring, but that is expected. I came out here so I could have an interesting life, my job is secondary… Which brings me back to why my profound thoughts hit me while I’m away from my computer…

When I’m out in the real world, I’m thinking all the time. Trying to understand the words to a song, or a street sign, or how to ask someone to dance. I end up waxing poetic or philosophic on mundane topics, but it causes me to look at the world I’m living in, and how I’m living there. When I come home, however, I sit at my computer. I don’t have a TV (yet) so I check my email, and read all the news I can find. I play online games or download some porn. Instead of waxing poetic, I end up waxing… Well, nevermind that. In essence, my home is a place where my brain slips into neutral, and I stop thinking.

Hence, when I sit down to write an email, or an entry, I can’t think of anything. Here I am, on the heels of what I know to have been a very profound thought, but it escapes me. I’m writing about having thought, instead of writing what I’m thinking. Kind of sad really. My brain is out of shape and I need to get it back into gear. I need it to stop sprinting when I’m out and about, and to run marathon’s all day.

So… How do I do that? Well, first I need to start being a bit more rigorous. This reminds me of another great thought that I had while running. I’ll write about that for the next entry. The thought was “I am nothing without form.” So, how to be more rigorous? I think it is more about setting personal boundaries. I think it has to do with structuring my life to be the way I want it to be, and then adhering to that structure. It is a subtle difference, but a significant one as well.

For instance. I pledged to write 3 emails a day. However, I did not establish how I would do that. I set the goal without providing a strategy to do that. In order to meet that goal, I need to set aside time every day, dedicated to email. Dedicated to thinking about email. I also have to be willing to write nonsense if I have nothing good to say… if nothing else, just to get the ball rolling. I also need to set realistic goals. Three emails a day is a lot. How many a day do you write? It takes me up to an hour per email for a real one, and three hours a day, I don’t often have. Especially as I’ve been working out more (4 times in the past 6 days (dancing counts)). So, what is more realistic? How about this. I will devote an hour a day to email, writing or replying. I don’t need to send a message every day, but I do have to work on some. Replies are easier than outright composing since I have a structure given to me. It will also make me feel better about having kept up correspondence, which I am typically quite crappy at.

I went out and found a gym which I went to for the first time today. 60 Euro for 10 visits as a trial. The place was empty and I had a decent work out, except that I’ve become a wuss. I calculated that it is approximately 1.8km away, so I can run there, work out and run home. This whole endeavor should take roughly 1.5 hours. I can devote that much time to my health and beauty. Maybe I should give 2 hours. Anyhow, I am finding structure and imposing it upon myself. Rock on Wayne! Rock on Garth!

Since I didn’t write some entries for a while, here are some things I meant to write about, but didn’t…
I saw Star Wars the day before it opened, and it was cool.
I visited Burg Eltz with C, and it was fun.
I’ve been dancing drei (3) times and it has been great.
I rode to Belgium to look at furniture and found some cool stuff, but didn’t buy any.

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