The Exploits of a TurboGeek!

Hey,

So, I kind of blew it. I failed to post two entries last week, and I also didn’t write 3 emails every day. In retrospect, I am thinking maybe I set my goals too high. So, let me ask you a question. How many emails do you write a day? How many a week? I need a baseline so that I can make a fair goal for myself…

As for the posting, well posting I failed at. I actually wrote 3 entries last week, but only posted one. The simple fact of the matter is, the entries I composed weren’t very entertaining. It takes quite a bit of effort to make them as entertaining as they are. Maybe as I get better, the posts will become more entertaining and/or easy to write, but I think part of the issue is I need to be in a writing mood, and I’m not always in that sort of mood. Sometimes I’m in a play video games and dance in my underwear mood. Most of the time, actually. Anyway, I can write posts in my underwear, so I’ll try that out and see if it helps…

Right now I’m listening to the washing machine erase the evidence of the lovely tortelloni dinner I made for myself. There is so much I forget to write in here. Did I tell you about my attempt to become healthy, when I bought a garden worth of vegetables only to find that I lack: A good knife, A cutting board, vegetable peeler, tupperware and the motivation to get these things? I then ate most of my vegetables whole, much like a cave man, because I couldn’t let the veggies rot, but I also couldn’t commit to any of the aforementioned hardware…

Shoot. That part doesn’t even belong in this entry… Today I’m going to write about the exploding frogs, which made world-wide headlines, many of which ended up in my email box. Here are two links:
From my Brother
and
From Google

Which of course lead me to the following story, with a suitable yuck factor…
Also from BBC

And slowly I am realising that this post is getting away from me. Did I tell you how popular I am in Peru? No, I didn’t. Because that entry sounded too egocentric and I couldn’t bear to post it. I posted my profile on the International M4tch.com, and after getting routinely ignored and overlooked for years in LA, I am suddenly Mr. Big Popular. Women all of the world suddenly desire me. The emails are all very charming. I hope that I sould as charming in foreign languages as these young ladies sound in English. I’m tempted to quote some of the cute things that they say, but that just seems cruel. The reality of the situation is, I have no idea why I’m getting emails from women thousands and thousands of miles away, but I can say that I’m popular all in China, Uganda, Venezuala, Brasil, Thailand, Colombia and most of all… Peru. Well, I guess I understand this a bit better now… As the natives of Peru apparently drink cocktails made out of frog puree, a certain amount of lapsed judgement is to be expected. Now that Peru is sorted out, just six more countries for me to puzzle over…

This entry has spun way out of control, and I just don’t have it in me to reel it back in. I’ll have to write about my work-outs, dancing and the adventure of sidewalk driving another time. Yes, this is in addition to the story of beach driving, which was almost done… That one got deleted after I realised that my telling painted everyone in the story as boneheads, when in fact there were two unfortunate souls that seriously underestimated how badly the one bonehead required supervision. Which reminds me, I owe you a story about my coffee pot too.

Actually, now that I’ve rambled this long, I’ll let you pick. Next entry, dated No Later Than 5/5/2005 (so you have time to pick) will be Reader’s Choice… Topics:
Why I’m Ill-equipped to Survive on My Own (Driving on the Beach, Coffee Pot and more)
Working Out (AKA, why does my butt hurt so much)
Driving on the Sidewalk (self explanatory, CAUTION: Contains some dancing)

So, have at it. And don’t drink any strange frogs while I’m gone.

Well, so far I’ve been doing pretty good. I’ve stayed on top of the email and the blog entries. Only three days so far, and I’m pretty happy. I had some other adventures and managed to sort them out in high spirits as well. Here’s what we’ve got.

Remember all the fun I had with Ver1zon a few months ago? Well, after screwing with my internet and turning it off too soon, they decided to leave the connection on and bill me for a month. Of course, when I asked to retain my phone number, they forgot to do this, so when I didn’t pay the bill for the internet service I asked to have shut off, they found they couldn’t contact me via phone. Consequently, they sent me to collections. Charming. It only took me 4 operators, and 3 phone number punts to get to someone who was able to correct the situation. Remarkably I wasn’t disconnected at any point. They’re slipping. Supposedly I’ll be removed from collections within a week.

On to happy news. I went shopping! Here is what I got!!! I got a bunch of CD’s. In particular, I got Wir Sind Helden (Gekommen und zu bleiben), Annette Louisan (Das Spiel, and Das Gefeuhl)… I also picked up Sophie Ellis-Bextor (CD: Read My Lips), whom I’d been hunting after for only 3 years… Ooooh! I also got 2 copies of “Schnappi das kliene Krokodil”!!! On CD has the video… I’m so excited! Nu Pagadi (Sweetest Poison) yet eludes me.

In other news, I also bought a very big German to English Dictionary, and a copy of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone”, auf Deutsch. I hope to read the entire book, looking up words as I go along, and making flash cards for the ones I learn for every chapter. Then, I’ll be as fluent as the average 10 year old. Then I will read the next book, and I’ll be as fluent as the average 11 year old. By the time I get to “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”, I’ll be more fluent in German than I am in English. Me am big happy for this.

Oh, for the record, the week starts on Saturday. Though I’m writing this on Sunday night, it is Saturday by the system clock. Either way, this counts as entry one for this week. Rock on!

Now, for some emails!

Tschuss!

P.S. I also bought some nice fluffy
white towels to take with me to the
pool. This will help with the workout
since it won’t upset my bath towel
rotation. Me am big happy.

P.P.S Incidentally, the way that I found
out about being in collections was because
Ver1zon finally got my old number working…
If you recall my old home number, try
dialing it… It will ring here in Germany,
and not cost you any extra dough (beyond
calling LA, if that ever cost you anything,
it still does…)

P.P.P.S Germany is 9 hours ahead of
LA, and 6 hours ahead of the East Coast,
keep that in mind when dialing.

P.P.P.P.S How many Post Scripts can I have
before it would have been wiser do just add a
few paragraphs to the message? Me am big happy

Here I am, in day two of my new goal system… I figure I should start writing down my goals, because I have a tendency to forget them after a while, and then fall back into the routines that caused me to realise that i need ot set goals…

The issue is, I am not 100% pleased with my life right now, and I decided to take a closer look at everything. Upon closer inspection, I have concluded that I have nothing to whine about. I’m virtually surrounded by people who care about me, and whom I can turn to for support and encouragement. I’ve got a fairly stable job, and I’ve finally managed to live overseas, which I had been longing for, for quite some time.

In short, I should be ashamed of my whining. However, I still feel some discontent. Some of it is sadness for things that I once had, but no longer have. Such as all my friends within driving distance. The phone is nice, but physical contact so much better. Some of it is longing for the familiar. I can’t even check my voicemail on my shiny new cellphone, since it too is in German.

Really though, the problem is me. I’ve been a bit of a lazy bum since I got here. I haven’t been dancing, I haven’t been working out, and I haven’t been writing. I’m discontent because I’m not being the person I think I can and should be. The simple fact is, there will always be exterior influences to make me happy, sad, mad or crazy. I can’t control those, but I can control how I respond to them. It goes without saying that I control how I respond to neutral stimuli as well. Things are going smoothly here, so I can just drift into the status quo of my choosing, so now it is time to choose.

I Will:
Write at least 3 emails a day.
Write at least 2 Blog posts a week.
Work out at least thrice per week.
Keep a a list of projects to do, so I don’t just waste time gaming and goofing off.
Set goals, great and small, so I don’t feel like I am doing nothing.
Find somewhere to dance
Dance

That is about it. I am also going to start trying to get into my life. Part of me wants to go out and buy stuff. Part of me resists this urge, because I shouldn’t use capitalism to fill an emotional void in my life. However, it occurs to me that I do have several material voids in my life, so shopping is actually a good idea.

Basically I have a spare bedroom and an office to furnish, so I will be doing some fun shopping. I also will be doing all the fun stuff that goes with shopping, like learning about various products and making comparisons… All of which I enjoy. Plus, I need to have gotten a chunk of it done before my first visitors show up (in less than 2 months) so that they have places to sleep and stuff. So, I have a plan and a deadline. That is all I really should need

And look at that. Today’s post marks the completion of one of my goals. Now for some emails.

I got home late tonight again. I was out with C, and we had a good evening. Dinner, conversation, PSP gaming and the usual nightly stuff. Part of me thinks that I shouldn’t write about the late night things that happen on date nights. This probably isn’t the right venue for it. Tonight… tonight was different. Tonight was rare and beautiful, and I am compelled to share it…

Whatever it was that caught my attention first, it was subtle. As soon as my suspicions been aroused, I realised that I was about to become an uncommon witness to some pretty delicate sexual relations. In a rare fit of brazeness, I grabbed my camera. Should I take pictures? Who would I show? (Everyone, you know it!) It was dark though, and I couldn’t get a shot off.

“My Digital!” I remembered aloud. As there were no objections, I chose to break away from the action for another camera run. Thank goodness the battery was charged, it isn’t like the opportunity for this sort of filming comes up every day!. Really, this is the first time I’d even considered it. A lot of the pictures were blurry, but that was partly because of the dark, and partly because I was nervous. I think that is kind of natural. The beauty of digital is that I can upload them right now, and I know at least 1 came out pretty good… I also shot some video, and that previewed well too. It is a little shaky, but I didn’t have time to set up the tripod (time was of the essence).

I have to give some compliments to the hedgehogs of course. Were it not for the not-so-subtle huffing and scratching, I’d never have heard them mating not 25 feet from my door when I got home. They were a bit bashful. Two were clearly mating when I tried to use my film camera, but it had daylight film loaded and wouldn’t comply. The video came out good, but by that time, the third hedgehog (k1nky bast@rd) had dislodged the second, and the female was no longer interested. I shot video for about 5 minutes, flashlight in one hand, camera in the other, whispering narrative all the while. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, though clearly my presense, not 5 feet away, was no greater interruption than my whispering.

Apparently, the female hedgehog’s technique for avoiding mating is to roll up into a bit of a ball, then the male can’t figure out what end he’s supposed to address. At least that is what I think was happening. They certainly didn’t learn to do stuff like that by peeking in my window… I guess we’ll just blame the internet. In any case, the third hedgehog had left scratches on the posterior of the second hedgehog. I assume he had dragged him off with hopes of enticing the female himself. Well, at least that is one theory. I don’t know if they had been drinking or if any mistakes had been made… Not that there’s anything wrong with that. That isn’t fair, I shouldn’t judge them. The three of them appeared to be consenting hedgehogs, of legal age, and how they choose to live their lives is not up to me. I support and applaud them for who they are, and their willingness to live life out in the open. I don’t even really mind if they continue to do so on my lawn, since I kind of enjoyed shooting the video. I need a better flashlight, though.

I included a pic…

P.S. To Jim who notes he was the only dude
to post a comment on my last entry and asks
“… what gives?”
I’m surrounded by lovely, intelligent, sweet
women… What do you mean, “what gives?”
I certainly couldn’t have engineered that
myself, how would I know how it happened!!!

P.P.S. Ladies, you keep writing, and I’ll keep
posting Hedgehog Pr0n for you