The Exploits of a TurboGeek!

Well, today has been an interesting day. My move is still plugging along swimmingly. Every day a bit more gets packed, or discarded, or otherwise sorted out. I picked up my Dad from the airport yesterday, and got my laptop back, which is good. Ver1zon is still useless, but I’ve just decided to accept them for what they are, which is actually useless.

Also, yesterday, I had a physical. I signed up for a new Universal Life Insurance policy, which is somewhat nifty. Suffice to say, they wanted to make sure that I am in good working order before signing me up. The good news, I checked out fine. Blood pressure at 110 over 80 (which is great) and a pulse of 58 (also impressive). Upon getting these readings my nurse commented “You sure seem calm for a guy who is leaving the country in 2 days.”

Today, when I got to work, my new manager had called. He wanted me to make some corrections on some documentation and to inform me that my new commander didn’t want me in country until the forms had gotten to a certain stage. I focused on the changes, realised that they weren’t all necessary and sent them back with my comments (which were well received). Then I asked, again, about my plane ticket and my manager said this to me…

“We’re still trying to get clarification from the Commander about when you can leave. You may be delayed about a week or so while the paperwork gets sorted out.”

So, my apartment is getting moved tomorrow. My car is leaving the next day. I’m supposed to start my new job on Monday, but I’m not allowed to show up for work yet… I may be stranded here (or in Northern Cal, or Virginia) for a week (OR SO!), and I won’t know for at least 24 hours.

Deep breath. Relax. Deep breath. Relax. I wonder what my pulse is now…

So, here is what I was hoping to write about when Ver1zon intervened and derailed my online experience. I’m tempted to back-date this, but since I didn’t write it until now, I’ll go ahead and keep the posted date. Sadly, some of the emotion I was feeling at the time has left me… So, if you’re reading this now, realize that the essense of me you are about to experience has been somewhat diluted by time and frustration, and it is the fault of Ver1zon… Even if you don’t hate them for me, you should hate them for what they’ve done to you, in ruining your blog reading experience.

I have been cleaning. Cleaning and packing, packing and sorting, sorting and discarding. I’m finding stuff I forgot I had, or didn’t know I had, or wished I could account for. I found 3 boxes of stuff that, for the most part, I haven’t touched in the five year tenure I’ve had at my apartment. I was tempted, to just throw these boxes out. After all, I haven’t even looked at them in half a decade, how important can they be?

Well, if you know me, I’m a saver (pack rat) or whatever you want to call it. Here is what I’ve found. My College Diploma. That is handy to have, and I’m certainly glad I didn’t chuck it. Also, a box of awards. Some time ago, someone (probably my Mom) decided to have a love fest for me, and framed every award I’d won until that point. Certificates for scholarships, and recognition within organizations I participated in (Student Body, Football) and lots of obscure stuff from as far back as Highschool that even I had forgotten about (Presidential Fitness Award?), and little certificates for silly things for basic participation (National Honor Society)…

It was kind of nice. In truth, I doubt I’d ever hang these awards up, but it was sort of like a personal “Life in Review” moment. If I die sometime in the near future, someone might look at this pile of awards and have some good fodder for my obituary.

Even happier was the discovery of all my cards and letters. In College, I learned about the “Happy File” in use by Yelnad’s Roommate (Yelnad, too, I think). Basically, no matter how sad I might become, all these things will remind me that I’m loved by wonderful people.

It was a bit painful, but in a good way, to read letters from loves lost. It is hard to be reminded of past failures, romances that were misdirected or poorly timed. However, it is also nice to remember the feelings involved. I’ve heard that the human body has no capacity to remember pain. You can remember that something hurt or that it hurt more than something else, but you can’t really remember the pain the way you can re-experience a sight or a sound or a smell. I think heartbreak is exempt from this rule.

Happily, however, the same is apparently true for love. While I no longer am in love with any of those women, it is nice to look back, and remember them fondly. I’ve been in love before, and it can very well happen again. That is a nice thought. It is sobering to remember that all of those loves ended in some amount of heartbreak, but maybe in the remembering, I’ll get it right next time (or two or three next times from now, in case I want to have some fun before then )

Oooh, I also found my favorite rubber ball! Then it broke

I have so very much to write about, so there may be multiple entries for today. Before I can write about those things, I have to write about why I haven’t written before now. In a word, Ver1zon…

One more disclaimer. It is wrong to be prejudiced… It is wrong to look at a person and look down on them because of where they’re from, what they look like, their gender or religious beliefs. It is even more wrong to take action against someone because of a personal prejudice, because this is discrimination and is generally illegal. I’m not sure if prejudice or discrimination because of a person’s profession is truly possible, but if it is, I certainly don’t encourage it. However, if I should happen to see the corporation of Ver1zon or its employees enduring great suffering or strife, I can’t say I’d be inclined to do anything about it at this point. Well, I might smile.

Since I’m moving, and a conscientious young buck, I called up my phone company (Ver1zon) and asked for my phone to be turned off a week after my scheduled move date. Feeling smart, I figure even if they are exceptionally industrious, I should be long gone by the time they turn off my phone, but I know I won’t have to pay the bills after the turn off date. Feeling equally wise, I called their DSL support, and requested the turn off for the same date as my phone. The agent there said I shouldn’t call in advance to do this, since the technicians don’t pay any attention to the “date” and will turn it off as soon as they see the request. So I said “Stop. Do not turn off my DSL. I want it to remain on.”

Of course, this didn’t work. My DSL was turned off last thursday, a full 3 weeks before my requested date, on the order I didn’t place. Worse yet, no one at Ver1zon had any record of my account, so it couldn’t even be addressed until “normal” business hours. I spoke to my ISP, just to be certain, and they verified that my account had been disconnected “At Customer Request”.

Now it gets interesting. I was in New Orleans all weekend, so everything had to be done over the phone while I was vacationing. This was something of a blessing because if I was stuck in my apartment all weekend with no internet, there might have been bloodshed. The phone calls didn’t yield much, because most of Ver1zon is not at work most of the time. The most interesting event was this. My ISP (which is absolutely awesome) could verify that my account was disconnected, but can do nothing about this (this makes sense). I can call billing to talk about my account, but I can’t call tech support to find out what is wrong (this makes almost no sense). Finally, billing tells me that my account is current, but tech support says my account was terminated by my request. However, tech support won’t tell me that (so I can’t argue) and my ISP can’t tell tech support that it wasn’t supposed to happen (so they can’t argue). Billing and Tech support won’t talk to one another, so there is no recourse.

So, here is the solution that Ver1zon suggested to me. Uncancel my phone, otherwise my DSL will never be reconnected. Request a DSL connection, wait 5 to infinite business days and cross my fingers. A Ver1zon agent will contact me.

Can I just say… I fucking hate Verizon.

I was going to write something witty here, but then I forgot what it was. I resolved to steal another fill in the blank from Yelnad, but the one she has up now is gender biased, and my gender won’t work for it. So, I’m going to babble a bit.

So, I was realising the other day, that I don’t like eating fruit off trees. I like fruit in general, but the idea of going up to some tree, pulling off an apple or orange is just appalling. Well, not appalling really, since it wouldn’t make me ill to do it. However, I don’t want to do it, and I would rather be fairly hungry than eat fruit off of strange trees.

I don’t understand this. All of the fruit I do eat, at some point comes off of a tree that I am not familiar with. However, because it comes to me via the supermarket, it has some sort of unspoken blessing that I apparently crave.

So, this gives me cause to wonder, as I often do. What is so special about sanctioned fruit from the store? I know they don’t have any scanning equipment to make sure the fruit is “safe”. Besides, what could possibly go wrong? I could get unripe fruit, but that can happen anywhere. There might be bugs living in the fruit, but how does the supermarket make sure it is bug free? I don’t mind eating things I find growing in a garden, I even used to eat berries off of bushes as well… Yet tree fruit seems somehow unclean.

The worst part is that while this is patently irrational, I can’t just ignore it. I don’t have any phobia of eating stray fruit, by accident or force, I just do not want to. Worse yet, I have no desire to to change the behavior, so I am consciously deciding to endorse my own personal irrational behavior. But why?

Can I not force myself to eat a stray fruit just to prove a point? Is it a point worth proving? I don’t think so, but am I just dismissing the value of proving that point because I secretly don’t want to eat a random fruit. Either way, I know the next time I come across some wayward apple or something, I’m just going to ignore the little fellow.

I hate it when my life forces me to ask questions I just can’t answer!

There may be a fundamental flaw in my outlook on life, based specifically on the fact that I have so far failed to die, for any reason. Not that I’m complaining, just an observation really. Given that I’ve more than once found myself in a situation where I could die, but actually didn’t, I’ve come to regard the likelihood of my dying as pretty remote. I suppose that it is pretty remote, which is why life insurance is a bit cheaper for young bucks like me. However, I could die, regardless of how difficult it is for me to envision.

The reason I bring this up, is that in the news, lately, has been the parade of natural disasters. The tsunami, which is a terrible and sad event (though not tragic, by definition), has been in the news a lot. Because of that, all of the other “minor” disasters have also been making news. In any other year, those disasters might be considered major, but compared to a tidal wave that kills over 100,000 and destroys countries, an avalanche doesn’t seem all that daunting.

The news media is of course pandering to and feeding the fears of the average person, by pointing out that there are plenty of disasters that could get you where ever home may be… The mountains may protect you from the ravages of the sea, but there are mudslides (mud flows, actually), and avalanches you can’t hide from. The plains will protect you from the hills, but there is flooding and twisters. Anywhere you go, there is some sort of weather/geological horror that can ruin your day, and the news is happy to point it out to you, despite the comparative unlikelihood of it actually affecting you in any direct fashion.

Which brings me to my point. I can see myself getting swept up in a Tsunami, but I can’t picture me dying from it. How does a Tsunami kill me anyway? Do I drown or get dashed against stuff? I don’t know. I can see myself in an Avalanche, but I also could see me successfully getting out of it. Volcano, wild fire, tornado or earthquake. I can see me in one, but I just can’t see me getting killed.

Overall, I wonder how many people experienced the Tsunami but did survive. The news stations are very big on counting bodies, but that is a bit too macabre for my taste. I’d like to hear the successes, and get some good information on how I can help (see the entry on Coinst@r if you are looking for an easy way to contribute).

I guess this really has very little to do with Natural Disasters, and more to do with my opinions on news media. Ultimately, the news media did raise awareness of the suffering caused by the Tsunami, which facilitates aid efforts, which is a very good thing. While I personally think the scare-mongering is a bit overpowering, I have to recognize that the news media also serves as fastest responding form of entertainment in people’s lives.

News is written every day and every night. It is presented as fast as possible, Live, even when that degrades the message/presentation. News Media survives by getting our attention and holding it for a story. If nothing else, I think that the past 50 or so years of News one thing; on a whole, people generally have a pre-occupation with death and destruction. That, or our attention spans are too short for us to be suitably impressed by the slow and predictable patterns of life and creation.

In any case, I’m going to get some ice cream.